There are various reasons why couples head for divorce. Everyone has their own problems and it is a complicated process for all. However, there is a lot to consider while ending a marriage and if you have children, then you need to evaluate things on all scales. This is where you might hear the term divorce mediation. This is a process through which dilemmas like child custody and spousal support are resolved. It focuses on finding solutions for such intricate problems.
Let’s have a deeper look.
What is divorce mediation?
So what happens in a divorce mediation? In this process, both the parties are brought together and a third party (appointed by the court)helps the couple in coming to a resolution. The third party is referred to as the mediator. Both the parties are allowed to discuss their issues and concerns with the mediator openly. All the disagreements are cleared through the mediator and then a final decision is made.
The most important thing to consider is that a mediator is not an objective party. They do not have the responsibility to force a decision on both the parties. The mediator just brings both the parties to an agreement that is making a fair compromise on both ends and is acceptable for both too.
The Process of Divorce Mediation
The mediation process begins with the mediator analyzing your situation and going through all the basics. Once they have gone through your case, you and your spouse have to make individual statements about your situation and the dilemmas that you both have, respectively. Both parties will get an equal chance to talk about their problems. The mediator will then proceed to ask any queries that they feel necessary, to clarify confusion.
The next step is to find a point of agreement for both the parties. However, it is not as easy as it might sound. Two people who are heading for divorce and cannot stand one another, will certainly find it hard to work till a point of agreement. But this is where the mediator comes to rescue, doing his best to find that specific point where you two can agree.
The mediator basically makes agreeable negotiations. They present you with different solutions for the problems that both the parties have, making sure that none of you feel as if their issue is not being resolved. However, the parties can only come to a conclusion and an agreement if they are openly willing to compromise and really want to; communicate and listen open heartedly to their spouse and understand the potential issues. Meeting an agreement is definitely one of the hardest parts of mediation.
Once done, the next step is to accomplish the final decision. A written document is prepared to state the solution that has been decided upon. It also states all the plans and schedules that have been settled in the name of parenting and child custody etc. As mediation is not a “court” process, many people feel that it isn’t trustworthy. However, that is not the situation. The final agreement is attached with the rest of your divorce paperwork and has a stamp of your mediator or attorney too. And these documents are accepted legally as well.
How to find the best mediator?
Now that you know how dirovcoe mediation works, it is important to find the best mediator for the task. Your lawyer will have referrals to some of the best mediators in town and you can ask him/her for recommendation. You can also ask your friends or anyone around you, who has been through dirvoce, for a mediator’s contact number. But as a lot of people do not opt for mediation, you might have to do some homework on your own as well.
It is best to research for the mediators online or get in contact with family law companies to help you connect with well-experienced mediators. Your local aid office or local bar association might also help you in this matter. Make sure that you spend a little time finding the best mediator as you don’t want to hire an incomptent person, who is incapable of bringing the best solutions to the table for you. If they lack negotiation skills; you won’t ever be able to come to an agreement with your spouse. Therefore, hiring the right person is crucial.
Are there any advantages of divroce mediation?
Many couples who have been divorced and have used the mediation process, do state that it is advantageous. How? Let’s have a look at some of its perks.
- Time and Money Saviour:
With mediation, you are putting the formal divorce process aside. You don’t have to go to the court again and again, which is quite costly and time-consuming too. If you are able to come down to a wise decision through mediation, then you are saving both money and time.
- Confidential Process:
You are not under the eyes of the court and one feels much more comfortable while stating their concerns and arguments. The mediator takes down notes till the final decision is made and implemented. There is no public hearing. Thus, everything is done confidentially. If you have problems with no proof of mediation being in your hands, then you can demand for a written agreement and all the notes too. You can keep them with you, as a proof, if ever needed in the future.
- Fair Decision making:
Lastly, mediation is based on fair decision making. Both the parties have to compromise on an equal basis. The mediator has no gain from it. Thus, a very fair decision comes out of the argument.
If you have children or you want spousal support or any troubles that might be complicated in the court, then try opting for divorce mediation. It helps both parties in attaining a fair decision, without anyone having to compromise more. You can research about it in detail before choosing it to be confident about what you are opting for.